


Parking Lot

by saranghaetae



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Depression, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saranghaetae/pseuds/saranghaetae
Summary: ( I had a panic attack in your dorm roomAnd all you did was tell me to grow upBecause I trusted you with my adolescent thoughtsNow I'm alone in this parking lot )





	Parking Lot

**Author's Note:**

> i have finals and im stress writing because i'm nervous abt failing
> 
> also this makes me sad y did i do this to myself
> 
> insp. (kinda) from parking lot by nothing,nowhere.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1I0H1iT3k1B90EXl78GDMG

Wonwoo ran his thumb over the thin ring adorning Mingyu’s lip sometime past midnight on that day, pretty brown eyes glinting in the haze of shadowed moonlight. Mingyu remembers his hands being so soft, pale and thin and beautiful. He looked so full of life then, nose scrunched up and cheeks puffed out as he told Mingyu how much he loved him.

He remembers it happening in the abandoned parking lot off of 17th Street, beneath the palm trees of East Tampa in the summer. Their tongues curled around the syllables of native Korean, neglecting English and pushing it away like they always did. Wonwoo never felt a loyalty to his second language anyways-- Mingyu didn’t blame him for it. English felt foreign on his tongue too, coming from Anyang when he was seven. They bonded over their love for Hangeul when they first met, the soft vowels and harsh consonants that blended words together and set other ones apart.

It's unfortunate how things fell, in the end.

Mingyu also remembers shoving Wonwoo into the back seat of his car, drinking cheap alcohol with him under that same hazy moonlight. Wonwoo’s eyes were still so pretty, a dark caramel that held a cliche mischievousness. He doesn't remember how many drinks it took before Wonwoo was leaning onto him in that shitty, worn backseat, murmuring careless thoughts about how he “kinda wanted to die sometimes.” Mingyu didn't think anything of it then, giggled softly and agreed with the older. He didn't realize that Wonwoo wasn't smiling when he said it, too.

After smashing the shitty beer cans against the graffiti-infected wall in that parking lot, listening to the constant scream of fire engines and the screech of vehicles in the city, Mingyu took Wonwoo up into his arms on the hood of his Camry, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Wonwoo grinned in response to every shitty pick-up line Mingyu could muster, punching his arms playfully and telling him to shut up.

\--

Two days later, in the heat of a characteristically humid Florida afternoon, Mingyu rolled over on the worn cotton sheets with a smile on his lips, arms splayed amongst the pillows. He was expectant of Wonwoo’s warmth, of the older’s silky black hair and pearlescent white teeth.

They hadn’t seen each other since that night in the parking lot, before Wonwoo came traipsing into his room at 2 AM last night requesting cuddles.

His heart dropped and his eyes opened alarmingly when he found the space next to him vacant. Empty pill bottles adorned the spot instead, a crumpled-up piece of yellowing paper on the nightstand. Mingyu remembers his mind becoming a mantra of _Oh_ _God_ , _Oh_ _God_ , _Oh_ _God_ , breath coming out quicker than it ever had.

Gathering the pill bottles, he shoved them onto the creaky wooden floor, ruined by the damp warmth of North Bay Street. The note found its way into his shaking hands, tears already blurring the words on the page.

_ Hey, Mingyu, it’s me. I’m really scared right now. I know you’re going to hate me after all of this happens. I’m so sorry. I don’t.. I don’t know how to tell you what I want to say. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You know that right? I hope you do. I love you so much. I love you more than words can explain, Kim Mingyu. I’m not a very poetic person, so I can’t really compare you to the sun or flowers or anything like that, but I can tell you this. You’re the reason why I stayed here for so long, Shit, Mingyu, I would’ve ended it so long ago. I would’ve killed myself when I was eight if I had the balls. But then I met you. You make me so happy. Even after my parents broke up, even when Bohyuk went missing, I knew I could rely on you. Because I love you. And I hope you love me too. I know you tell me you love me all the time, but how could someone like you love someone like me? You can’t really. I’m too much of a burden, I know that. But that’s why I’m doing this. My hands are shaking so much, Gyu. I already took the pills. All of them. I’m sorry for wasting your Motrin and Ibuprofen and Amoxicillin. I know it will cost a lot of money to get new prescriptions. That’s why I left all of my money in the kitchen. Please take it, Mingyu. Please make something of yourself. Go to college, maybe. Be better than me. You’re so amazing, and talented, and beautiful. You’re more than I ever could’ve been. And I’m sorry that I’m so sad, and that I always drag down everyone’s mood. I don’t try to, but I know that it’s all my fault. I love you Mingyu. I love you so much. Remember when you said we could get married when we turn 18? I’m sorry that I couldn’t last that long. I really tried. I tried so hard. And it’s not your fault, not at all. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s all my fault. Really. Thank you for maybe loving me Kim Mingyu, thank you for being there when nobody else was. I’m gonna go now. I think I might be able to run to the park. It’s hard to breathe. I love you. Bye. _

_ \- regards, jeon wonwoo _

Mingyu flinged the piece of paper across the room, pulling his knees up to his chest as he hyperventilated into the fabric of his tank top.  _ This isn’t happening. It’s a dream.  _ He tried to convince himself of anything but the truth-- that his boyfriend and bestfriend and the love of his life was  _ gone. _ Just like that.

However, he always knew that it was pointless to try to fool yourself. It was pointless to mend something that was always meant to be broken.

His mind flickered to the silver band hidden away in the bottom of his closet before blacking out.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> srry ily all


End file.
